One
Million Heartbeats
by Raine Koh
Hana
finally woke up. She found herself lying in bed in a hospital room
and everything around her was drenched in dazzling white. She didn't
remember the world being so white before and she wondered if she was
still alive. Her father was sitting next to her and upon seeing her
awake, he reached out and held her hand gently. Hana thought he
looked older than she remembered but his warm touch convinced her
that she was still alive.
“Hana,”
he said, speaking each letter slowly, “I have good news and bad
news.”
1
000, 000
Hana
Masaki was nineteen and she has been surrounded with so much care for
almost ten years you would think she was some kind of porcelein doll.
Just like what her father had said, she learnt from a very young age,
there was always good news and bad news in life. She was born in one
of Japan's wealthiest families and they owned one of the biggest
hotel chains. She was the youngest and only girl in a family of five.
However, unlike her elder brothers who were always seen in the public
eye, Hana had been shielded away from the sun since she was ten.
She
looked at her father and smiled. It was a smile that looked painted
on her fair face. She didn't smile because she felt any particular
emotion, she just wanted to reassure one of the few people she had
ever loved in her life that things are not as bad as they seem. “Tell
me the good news first,” she said.
“You
managed to wake up from the operation. It had been very difficult.”
Since
she was ten, the hospital had been her second home. Her chest had
been scrutinised countless times and she wondered if that was reason
her breasts were so small. Her father had spent millions flying in
the best doctors from all over the world. Just so that she could live
for one more day.
“And
the bad news?” she asked.
His
hand moved to her wrist. She didn't notice it before, but a white
watch was strapped on her bony wrist. She looked at it closely. It
wasn't really a watch, the face had a digital monitor and the digits
on it decreased with every second.
999,930
“It's
something that is connected to your heart. The numbers you see are
your heartbeats.”
“But
why are the numbers decreasing?” Hana asked. Her father bit his
lower lip and she saw his eyes turn teary. She hated the fact that
people always had that look whenever they were around her. She hated
the fact that people around her always looked heartbroken, although
she was the one with the weak heart.
“I'm
sorry Hana,” he said, trembling. “The doctors tried their best,
but they could only make your heart beat a little longer, not make it
well. The digits on the watch show you how many heartbeats you have
left.”
It
took a while for his words to sink it.
She
was going to die. Hana stared blankly at her father. He had abandoned
all restraint and big, fat, wet tears streamed down his face. Her
father, one of the most powerful men in the business world was
weeping like a child. “Daddy, don't cry,” she said, even though
she knew it waas futile. Hana would have joined him if she could. But
tears were not a priviledge she could afford. Nor was any type of
emotion for that matter.
“Hana,
what would you like to do? Your mother and I decided to let you do
anything and go anywhere you want to, we will provie any amount of
money you need.”
Anywhere?
She hasn't been anywhere besides the hospital and her house for the
past ten years. Where could she go? Where did she want to go? She
looked at her watch.
999,
820
“I
want to see Kumiko.”
“I
can call her.”
“Daddy,
I would like to see her at her school. I know how to find her.”
“If
I let you go, can you promise me one thing?” asked her father.
“Yes.”
“You
can go anywhere, do anything, but promise me to return to my side
before the timer hits 5000.”
“I
promise.”
*
Hana
had known Kumiko since they were eight. They only became close after
they were both assigned cleaning duty where they were supposed to
tidy up the classroom after school hours. Hana had totally lost
herself in a book somewhere and had totally forgotten about it. When
she finally reached the classroom, Kumiko was there with a broom in
one hand looking mad at her.
“Hana,
why are you so late? You know, I'm so scared of ghosts in the
classroom!” Kumiro ranted, hitting the broom on the floor.
“I'm
sorry Kumiko,” she said, although she was sure Kumiko didn't
believe her. After that incident, they both of them have been
inseperable, that is Hana became very sick.
Hana
took a black lacy parasol, wore a black dress and went to find her
best friend. The time was 5pm, and she knew that she would find her
still in school. In fact, she was certain, she would find Kumiko at
the sports tracks.
In
terms of appearance, Kumiko was the exact opposite of Hana. Kumiko
was tanned and had short boyish hair. She loved running for as long
as Hana could remember and has taken part in several marathons and
races. Kumiko was a star athlete and was constantly surrounded by
people.
As
predicted, she found Kumiko at the running tracks, doing some
stretching excersises. She saw Hana and gave a big smile and wave,
before running to meet her. Many girls found it hard to talk to Hana.
She hardly spoke and did not have many facial expressions. She had
been told from a young age that if she wanted to live long, she had
to have as little expressions as possible. A smile or laugh from her
can cause her heart to hurt so much.
The
both of them sat down at a bench next to the tracks. The whole field
was empty except for the two of them.
“I
feel like I haven't seen you in ages,” said Kumiko.
“I
know, me too. How have you been?”
“The
usual, running and running and more running. I want to run for as
long as I can. Until my hair turns gray and my bones decay.”
Hana
looked at Kumiko closely. Hana's eyes seemed too big for her face.
She continuously looked dazed and sometimes she wondered if anyone
was there, beneath those big glassy eyes.
“I
envy you, for knowing what you want to do,” said Hana
Kumiko
did not know how to answer. She suddenly noticed the watch on Hana's
wrist. “What's that?” she asked.
997,
710
Hana
explained it to her. As she spoke, she noticed Kumiko trying hard to
hold to back her tears. It was the same everywhere. People around her
always became teary.
Kumiko
said, “I mean, right now, your time is so limited...are you sure
you should be spending it with me?”
“It's
not about how long I have to live, but it's about being at the right
place at the right time and right now, I want to spend it with you.”
Kumiko
started to sob. “I'm sorry, I can't help it,” she said, trying to
wipe her tears away, but more came to replace them. “Is there
anything you want to do?”
“To
be honest, I don't know.”
They
both sat next to each other till the sun set. Kumiko had to head home
for dinner. “Would you like to come?” she asked.
“It's
okay, I need some time alone to think.”
“You
are not going home?”
“No.
I will be at the Shibuya outlet. You can look for me there tomorrow
if you are free.”
Hana's
family run hotels all around the city, all she had to do was to show
up and she will be granted a suite. Accomodation was not a problem
for her, nor was anything that require money for that matter. What
she needed to do was to find the reason, the reason why she was alive
in the first place. Although she loved her father dearly, there were
times Hana found his love to be overpowering, and she knew if she
ever returned home, she won't be able to leave again.
Kumiko
flung her arms around her friend and hugged her tightly. “I hope
you find what you are looking for.”
Hana
found herself at her favourite cafe at Daikanyama and she loved this
cafe for its wooden tables and big comfy couches. She ordered some
hot chocolate and then sat down with a pen and notebook. She stared
at a blank page and sighed. She had no idea what she wanted to do
with her remainding heartbeats. She initially wanted to make a to-do
list, but nothing seemed to make sense.
People
always cry when people are around me, she thought. I want to make
people smile, there is already too much sadness as it is. Sadly, she
wasn't particular funny and she doubted she could make anyone laugh.
She
gave up on writing her to-do list and instead started to jot down
random musings:
I
have always been a sickly child and I would encounter throbbing pains
in my chest. I noticed these pangs would happen whenever I laugh, get
scared or excited. But the pain becomes really bad when I cry.
Despite all this, living was still bearable if I ceased to show any
emotions. I willed my heart to be as still as it could me.
Things
started to go really wrong when I was ten. My pet rabbit died
suddenly and overcome with grief, I did something I had willed myself
to stop. I cried. I cried so hard. A sharp pain pieced through my
chest and I found it hard to breathe. I was sent to the hospital and
that was when they found out my heart was in a bad condition.
Living
is tiring. Does everyone else feel this way? Ever since I was born,
time was already ticking towards that inevitable end. I guess, it is
the same for all humans, we all live to die. But many people don't
think about it as much. To be honest, I'm not afriad of death. It had
become like a comfortable shadow, something that I cannot run away
from.
Death
could happen anytime to anybody, but I believed there was a reason
for everything, even the time of death. So maybe I should not feel
too depressed about death nor too pressured about living.
By
the time she left the cafe it was already ten o'clock. Part of her
wondered if it was alright to spend so much time doing nothing.
Although one of her favourite authors once said, Time you enjoy
wasting is not wasted time. She stretched herself and decided it was
time to check into a hotel when she felt something furry brush
against her leg. Slightly startled, she looked down to see a white
fluffly cat standing next to her. It looked up at her and purred.
Hana
squatted next to the cat and stroked its head. “Do you belong to
anyone?” she asked. The cat meowed in reply. The cat had no collar,
but it looked too well-groomed and well-fed to be a stray. It
suddenly darted off into the darkness, and for no good reason Hana
could fathom, she decided to follow it.
The
cat spurted off into a dark alleyway and to her surprise, a sweet
smell filled the air. It was the smell of something baking. The cat
had stopped in front of a little bakery, which although was closed at
this hour, still had its lights switched on. Hana peered inside to
see a boy, not looking younger than she was, inside the kitchen.
He
had on a pair of glasses, with short dark hair, his fringe went a
little over his eyes. Wearing a white uniform, he had placed some
dough on the table and was pressing against it in silent rythmn.
There was something hypnotic in the care he paid, kneading the dough.
His pale face was smeared with flour while his eyes shone, as if the
fate of the whole world rested on this piece of dough.
The
cat let out a loud meow and his concentration was broken. He turned
to look at the window and Hana quicked ducked. She had no idea what
she was afraid of, but she decided to run away and hide at a corner.
The boy eventually came to the door and opened it to let the cat in.
He looked around suspiciously, but Hana was already ran some distance
away. She peeped at him from the corner, only to see him going back
inside the bakery with the cat following behind. Hana placed her hand
on her heart, it was beating wildly. She wondered if it was because
of the running or was it because of him, that cause this.
She
looked at her watch.
977,
700
I
better head to the hotel now, she thought. There was something
dangerous about that boy, although she could not pinpoint the reason
why.
*
The
minute she entered the hotel suite, the phone started ringing.
“Hello?”
“Hana,
how are you?” It was her father.
“I'm
fine. Everything is okay.”
“If
you want or need anything, just ask the concierge. He can help.”
“Yes
daddy, I know.”
Silence
fell at the other end. Hana could hear him taking slow breaths.
“Hana,
you can always come home.”
“I
know, just not yet. Try not to worry about me.”
“You
know that's impossible.”
“Good
night, daddy.”
After
washing up, she lied down on the big comfy bed. All the hotel rooms
had a similar white French flair in their decor. The whiteness of the
room reminded her of the hospital, although she had to admit, the
hotel bed was definetely more comfortable. Hana faced the ceiling and
wished she didn't have to sleep. In a few days, she would be sleeping
forever. She wondered about the young baker and what kind of thoughts
he had while kneading the dough.
He
did have such pretty eyes, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.
*
The
next day was a Saturday and Hana met up with Kumiko at the hotel
lobby. Her friend put up the brightest smile she could muster upon
seeing Hana. “Is there anything in particular you want to do?”
asked Kumiko.
“Can
we spend a normal day? Something girls our age do on a Saturday?”
“The
thing is, I don't think we do anything. Most of the time we just roam
around and talk, maybe shop?”
“Let's
do that.”
“Well,
let's eat first! I'm starving!” said Kumiko. Hana suddenly recalled
last night.
“I'll
bring you to this bakery. I want to try something from there.”
The
bakery was tucked away in one of the alleys of Daikanyama. Daikanyama
is a small part of Tokyo where quirky cafes and fashion boutiques run
rampant. Unlike most of the other bakeries in the area, this place
did not have a cafe area and there was a small selection of bread
which included croissants, baguettes, fruit tarts and apple pies.
There was one baker (a neat middle aged man) who was busy in the open
kitchen area. Kumiko was busy looking at the fruit tarts while Hana
approached him.
“Excuse
me?”
“Yes?”
he said, looking at Hana.
“Did
you bake all the bread here?” she asked.
He
smiled gently and replied, “Everything but the croissants. Those
are baked by Jun.”
“Jun?”
“He
is my assistant.”
“Thank
you very much,” said Hana. Kumiko came by her side and said
excitedly, “The fruit tarts look so delicious! I can't believe I
have never been here before! Let's get some and eat them at a park or
something!”
Hana
bought a croissant while Kumiko got a fruit tart and they both left
the bakery. The town park was walking distance away and they soon sat
themselves at a bench there. The park had a playground area where
some kids were playing at the slides and swings, looking incredibely
happy. Hana took a bite of her croissant. Its crust was buttery and
flaky while the inside was sweet, soft and slightly sticky. It was
the best croissant she had ever had.
“The
fruit tart is so yummy! Do you want a bite?” asked Kumiko. Hana
shook her head and took another bite of her croissant. A light breeze
blew through the park and Hana felt contented.
“I
am just happy to be alive; to be breathing, to see beauty around me
and to be with a good friend,” said Hana.
“I
guess life is really simple if we make it,” said Kumiko.
“I'm
afraid though.”
“Of
what?”
“Human
bonds and how people are connected to each other. What I do today
will influence the life of someone else and in turn what that someone
does will influence another. It's like a spiderweb of relationships
and I'm afraid of the impact I will leave behind once I'm gone.”
Kumiko
thought about Hana's words for a moment. “In a way, relationships
are what make life worth living. You never die if you are remembered.
And whatever happens, I will remember you for as long as I live.”
“Thank
you, Kumiko.”
867,
620
*
Maybe
it's because of what Kumiko said, maybe it was because the croissant
was so delicious, or maybe it was because she just wanted to see his
face again, but that night, Hana returned to the bakery.
However,
the bakery was in total darkness. Hana tiptioed and peeked through
the window but no one seemed to be around. She didn't know why she
felt dissapointed though. Suddenly she heard a familar meow behind
her. Hana turned around to see Jun standing behind her with the white
cat in his arms. She shrieked, scaring Jun as well, causing him to
drop the cat.
“I'm
sorry!” said Hana. The cat managed to land on its feet but it gave
her a glare.
“I'm
sorry I scared you,” said Jun, bending down to pick up the cat.
“I...I...”
Hana wondered if she should run away again.
“I've
seen you before,” said Jun. Hana turned towards him. He was wearing
a black tee and jeans. Through his glasses, his eyes werre observing
her curiously. His eyes were really pretty, thought Hana. She
realised that she couldn't run away from his sight.
“I
tried the croissant this afternoon. It was the most delicious
croissant I have ever eaten,” she said.
“You
want to come in? I'm making some now.” He unlocked the bakery's
door and stepped inside. Hana hesitatated for a moment before going
inside. Jun turned on the lights and walked over to the open kitchen.
“Anyway,
my name is Jun,” said Jun, taking out some ingredients from the
cupboard. He placed a packet of flour and some eggs on the table. He
looked at her expectantly. “What's yours?”
“My
name is Hana.” said Hana, walking over to the table. “Why do you
bake at night?”
“I'm
usually at the university in the day. My parents live in Chiba and
they rather I be a banker or something. So I study that in the day,
while the night is free for my own dreams.”
“You
want to be a baker?” asked Hana. Jun nodded in reply. The cat
seemed to have forgiven Hana for her previous blunder, and was now
brushing its body against Hana's leg.
“Her
name is Carrie,” said Jun, referring to the cat. He had put on a
white apron and was rolling on a piece of dough. Hana found his
movements facinating. She wondered what it was like to have a dream.
Jun
glanced at Hana and said, “There's something strange about you.
Something so strange that I wonder if I am dreaming.”
“I
feel the same way about you too.”
Jun
laughed and said, “I could pinch myself but I'm not sure if I want
to wake up yet.”
He
was now cutting the dough into triangle shapes and rolling it
carefully to a croissant shape. “You want to try?” he asked, with
a smile.
“Okay,”
said Hana, rather uncertainly. She washed her hands and moved to his
side. She took a piece of triangular shaped dough and placed it on
the table. She stared at it, wondering what to do with it. “Here,
you do it like this.” Jun placed his hands above hers and guided
her fingers to roll the dough into its intended shape. His hands were
warm and his face was just next to her. He helped her roll another
piece of dough and they were soon finished, with the croissant-shaped
dough placed on a tray.
“Now,
we leave the dough to proof for about two hours,” said Jun, washing
his hands.
“What
do you usually do while waiting?” she asked.
“Sometimes
I listen to some music, do some studying but I think waiting is a
sort of activity in itself.”
The
croissants were eventually done. Jun took out the tray from the oven
to reveal light golden brown croissants and a sweet buttery smell
filled the air.
“You
want to try one?” asked Jun.
“If
you don't mind?” Hana couldn't take her eyes off them. Jun passed
her one croissant on a plate. It was still warm as she held it. It
tasted heavenly, even more delicious than the one she ate in the day.
“It's
wonderful,” she said, smiling. She could feel her chest ache a
little.
“Hana,
what is the one thing in the whole world you like doing?” asked
Jun.
“I
don't really have one. I do like reading and writing though.”
“Let's
do that tomorrow!” he said.
“Tomorrow?”
cried Hana, rather alarmed.
“It's
a Sunday and I have no lessons. I want to spend a day with you, doing
what you like...that is, if you don't mind.”
Hana
glanced at her watch.
760,
317
“I
can meet you at 1pm, at the Daikanyama T-Site bookstore,” she
answered.
*
What
have I done? Hana thought, when she entered the suite. She looked
down at her hands and recalled how warm his fingers were when he
touched hers. What have I done? She asked herself again. Maybe she
should just cancel or just not show up. No matter how she thought
about it, she doubted this could end well.
She
made her way towards the bathroom and washed her face. Why was she
starting something she had no confidence in? Hana faced herself in
the mirror and took a deep breath. All this worry was making her
chest ache and that probably meant her heart was beating faster.
“Hana, you are overreacting,” she said firmly to her reflection.
“It's just a meeting with a new friend, it doesn't have to mean
anything.”
But
she knew inside, it already did.
*
Hana
arrived at the bookstore, half an hour later than promised. To be
honest, she almost didn't make it out of the door. The bookstore was
made up of three interconnected buildings, containing a mammoth
collection of books. Although the both of them did not arrange a
certain spot to meet, she knew exactly where to find him. She made
her way to the baking section of the bookstore and sure enough, Jun
was standing there, his nose buried in a cookbook. She wondered why
looking at him made her grow warm. She approached him shyly and stood
next to him.
“Hi
Hana,” he say, noticing her. He returned the book back to the
shelf.
“Hi
Jun, I'm sorry I'm late.”
“It's
alright, I'm glad you are here.”
Together,
they both explored the bookstore. She showed him all her favourite
authors while he shared with her his. Disregarding the pain she felt
in her heart, she just felt happy to be around him. She had almost
forgotten the sound of her own laughter. They ended up spending hours
in the bookstore, just talking, laughing.
It
was evening by the time they left the bookstore. Hana wished the day
would never end. There was a small park outside the building, and a
few passer-bys were walking their dogs. The both of them took a seat
outside, looking at the puppies.
“Can
I ask you something strange?” said Hana.
“What
is it?”
“Can
I listen to your heartbeat?” she asked.
Jun
looked taken aback by her request. But he reached out to hold her
hand. He placed her palm onto his chest, she could feel his heart
beating. It felt the same as her own heart, it was beating furiously.
“I
wonder what this means?” she thought aloud.
“What
do you mean?” he asked.
“Your
heart is beating as fast as mine.”
“It
means we like each other,” he said. Hana noticed his face had gone
red.
“It
does?” she asked.
“Well,
I am not exactly knowledgeable about such matters, but I think so.”
“So
what happens next?”
“Usually
when two people like each other, they get to know each other better
and see if that 'like' becomes 'love'. If they do love each other,
they get married and live happily ever after.”
Hana
looked at him suspiciously, “Is that really how it ends?”
Jun
smiled in reply, “Like I said, I'm not knowledgeable in such
things. I only know about baking.”
I
don't have time to find out if this ends up happily ever after, she
thought, looking at the ground. I doubt it will end that way.
Hana
could feel her own eyes become teary. Jun suddenly cupped her face in
his hands and looked at her closely. His hands felt so warm. He came
closer to Hana and kissed her. His lips tasted as sweet as the bread
he made. Hana could feel her heart rate surge, she pushed Jun away
and got up.
“Hana...”
She
walked away as fast as she could, without turning back. She quickly
flagged a taxi and got in. “M-Suites, Shibuya please,” she told
the taxi driver.
She
glanced at her watch. As she thought, the kiss had taken away a
substantial amount of heartbeats, and her heart was still beating
rapidly.
Hana
closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down. Instead she recalled
how soft and sweet his lips were. She touched her own lips and
thought to herself, despite his warm hands and kind smile, that boy
was dangerous.
*
Hana
decided to stop seeing him. She met Kumiko at her favourite cafe
after her friend was done with school. Hana knew time was ticking for
her, and Kumiko was trying to smile as much as she can, but Hana
could still feel the sadness behind it all.
Maybe
that was what made Jun so special. He didn't see her as a dying
person. His eyes always shone with hope, even when he looked at her.
She suddenly missed him.
“So
who is this mystery guy?” asked Kumiko. Hana had mentioned briefly
about him when her best friend wanted to meet up on Sunday and now
she wanted all the details.
“He
is just a new friend I've met. He is an assistant baker at the bakery
we went the last time.”
“No
wonder you wanted to go there. You had intentions!” said Kumiko,
nudging Hana cheekily.
“I
didn't tell him of my condition. Is it selfish of me?” asked Hana,
sighing.
“For
not telling him of your condition?”
“No,
for getting too close to him,” said Hana. “I have been
controlling my emotions for ten years and I threw it all away.”
Kumiko
reached out and held her hand, “There are some things which can't
be controlled.”
“Like
death,” said Hana.
“Like
love,” Kumiko added.
“There's
a place I want to go to, could you come with me?” she asked. Hana
led her friend to a small chapel some distance away. They sat in one
of the pews in silence. They sat in one of the pews in silence. The
stillness of the chapel always helped to calm her down, and quieten
her spirit. Hana noticed a painting of a heart hanging at one of the
pillars. Below the heart had this verse, He has made everything
beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart.
Hana
stared at the verse for a while. Kumiko followed her gaze and looked
at the painting too.
“What
do you think it means?” Hana asked. Especially since her heart was
a ticking time bomb, how was it supposed to have eternity?
“I'm
not sure. But maybe it's about how the love we feel in our hearts
never dies?” said Kumiko.
“I
think you are right.”
404,
200
*
After
sending Hana off at the hotel, Kumiko made her way to the bakery. She
knew her friend would not approve of her actions but she did not want
Hana to regret later. As usual, the middle-aged baker was seen in the
kitchen. She approached him and said, “Hi there, could you help me
with a favour? It is rather important.”
“What
is it?”
“It's
about your assistant. I believe he is looking for my friend Hana, but
he has no way of contacting her. If he really wants to see her,
please give me a call on my mobile phone and I will tell him where he
is.” She passed him a slip of paper with her number scibbled on it.
The
baker nodded and took the piece of paper. “I will remember to tell
him when I see him.”
*
120,
323
Jun
stared at the two pieces of paper before him. He had been suffering
from the flu and had not come by the bakery for the past two days.
When he finally returned that evening, his boss passed him a number
to call if he wanted to find Hana. He had called Kumiko who gave him
two seperate addresses. One was where Hana lived and the other was a
hotel she was currently staying at. He wanted to see her but what if
she didn't want to see him? There was something strange about her,
something so translucent that he often wondered if she was real.
There was only one way of finding out, he decided. He made his way to
the hotel.
On
the way to the hotel, it suddenly started to rain. He seeked shelter
at a certain cafe when someone he knew entered through the cafe
doors.
“Hana!”
he cried. The girl widened her eyes upon seeing him and bolted out of
the door, despite having no umbrella. Jun chased after her in the
pouring rain.
“Hana!”
he cried again. He soon caught up with her and grabbed her hand. They
were both soaked in the rain. It was already night by now and due to
the dim lighting, together with the raindrops which were marring his
vision, he had no idea that Hana was crying.
“I
have to leave somewhere far away,” said Hana.
“Far
away? Like Europe?” asked Jun, still clutching on her hand.
“I'm
sorry we won't be able to have a happily ever after.”
“But
what do you want?” he asked desperately. “Are you okay with
things ending like this? Every relationship is a gamble!”
Hana
cried, “This one isn't, I know it's going to end in tears.”
“I
am not afraid of crying.” Jun moved towards her and held her
quivering body in her arms. Hana hugged him tightly. Despite being in
the rain, she felt warm here. She thought, I will never regret
spending my heatbeats on you.
They
returned to the hotel suite to change into dry clothes. After which
they were both so exhausted, Jun and Hana just tumbled on the bed,
holding each other.
In
the middle of the night, Hana woke up to find him still holding her
tightly. She reached out and placed her palm on his chest. His heart
was beating in a steady rhythm. She wished it would beat for a very
very long time.
She
got out of bed and went to the study table. She took the notepad
provided by the hotel and started to write a letter.
Dearest
Jun,
I
am sorry, I have done something horrible to you. By the time you read
this letter, I would have returned to my father's side and there is a
small possibility I will no longer be alive. You see, I am very sick
and I didn't have much time left when I met you. But I was so in love
with you, I did not want to see you cry.
I
am sorry for not telling you, but I am not sorry for meeting you. I
love you very much and I wish with all my heart you have your happily
ever after, although it won't be with me.
Love,
Hana
Hana
placed the letter next to the sleeping figure. It was time for her to
go. Even while he was asleep, Hana thought he looked so beautiful.
“Goodbye,” she whispered.
*
18,
563
Hana
arrived home to see her father's tear-stricken face. He ran towards
her and hugged her tightly. She realised how lucky she was to be
loved so much, even though she couldn't give anything in return.
“Daddy,
thank you for loving me so much,” she said.
“I
will love you forever,” he replied.
*
Jun
was awaken by the sun's morning light. The first thing he saw was the
letter, on the side of the bed. He put on his glasses and read it.
“Oh
no,” he cried. Jun quickly changed into his clothes and ran out as
fast as he could.
*
Hana's
heart was starting to hurt. She had taken out her watch and was lying
in bed with her father sitting by her bedside, holding her hand. She
told him about the boy with the warm hands and how she had been so
happy to have met someone with that much hope. Her father listened
and tried to smile in the midst of his tears, but he could see her
life drifting away.
“Daddy,
whatever it is, I am happy I had been alive. I hope you can smile
again and be truly happy once I'm gone...”
He
clutched her hand tightly and wept. She looked at him and smiled. It
was the warmest smile he had ever seen on his daughter.
The
bedroom door suddenly swung open and Jun entered the room, panting.
“Hana...”
0
The
End
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